Perfect Gentleman
by Ranowa Hikura
Summary: Everybody knows that Elliot's sweet and sensitive side overrules his manly side for his friends, but Elliot's in denial about that. So Casey and Olivia decide to change that.


Hey, you guys! I started writing this about the most fun day of driving EVER! I won't tell you everything that made it the best ever, but I will tell you possibly the most stupid thing I said. I wasn't familiar with the area and was looking for a place to enter a parking lot and asked the other people in the car, "Should I enter where that 'Do Not Enter' sign is?" I was completely serious too!

Also, if there is ANYBODY reading this who understands how linear programming- you know, that minimum, maximum stuff- works, please PM me. It's due in less than a week and I am totally lost. Please, I'll love you forever and review all your stories or anything else you want me to do, but I really have to understand this and I don't.

Good god, she was being held hostage by a moron. A _moron_.

There were two very big problems that Casey could see with what her captor had done. First of all, his weapon of choice was pressed into her stomach, not her neck. And second of all? His weapon of choice was a _knife_.

_A knife._

Who the fuck came into the DA's office, _took hostage_ the senior ADA- _with_ a god damned knife- to try and get his position as ADA back? How the fuck did that even make sense?

God, if she didn't have that god damned knife pressing into her stomach, Casey would hit the moron in the head and walk out of here. Then again, that was rather the point of the knife. But what kind of damage could it do, anyways? It was pressing hard enough into her side that it would of cut through her skin by now if it was sharp. Casey was just hoping to avoid a trip to the ER by getting out of this unscathed.

"Drop the knife!" Olivia shouted, keeping her gun trained on the moron holding her hostage.

"Liv," Casey groaned, "please, put your god damned gun away. It's more likely that you shoot me than this idiot has the balls to actually cuts me with his knife."

It had probably been an extremely bad idea for her to call the guy an idiot out loud, then say that he wouldn't cut her, but she hadn't been able to help herself. And, of course, she paid for it. "Bitch, you be quiet!" he growled in her ear, pressing the knife even harder into her stomach, causing a small cut to appear, from which blood started to stream.

She groaned loudly and rolled her eyes to the ceiling, swearing under her breath. "God damn it. There went the rest of my night."

Olivia glared at her, telling her to _shut up_, but Casey really couldn't help herself. She had had tonight all planned out. Go on her date, then go to get drinks with the guys and take bets on whether or not their next date would go well, then after having a couple of drinks, she was going to head home, curl up on her couch with a big bowl of buttery popcorn and watch reruns of NCIS, then, as a finale, she was going to get some sleep, because tomorrow was her day off.

Now, though? Now she was gong to have to go down to the ER, probably get stitches, give her statement, then get home before dawn and collapse on the couch. Her whole night had been ruined just because this moron had got the idea pounded through his thick skull that holding the senior ADA hostage was a one way ticket to a job and not a prison cell. How did he even have the brains to get through law school?

"I want to talk to the DA about my job!" the idiot, as Casey had taken to thinking of him, shouted. "Then I'll let this girl go! But only then!"

Before she could stop herself, she said, "I'm sorry, but Branch doesn't talk to people whose only college degree is in stupidity. And how is this helping you get your job back?"

"Bitch, I told you to shut up!" he snapped, hitting her head with one solid blow. Casey blinked the stars out of her eyes, groaning at this new development- now she'd have a horrible headache.

"Casey, be quiet!" Olivia ordered before looking back up at the idiot and saying, "Look, I can get the DA on the phone for you, but I'm gonna need a gesture of good faith if I can trust your word that you'll let her go."

Casey rolled her eyes again but didn't say anything, determined to get out of this with only one injury to be put on the police report. But when the idiot started shouting at Olivia, his loud voice was right next to her ear and it was going to make her headache worse. She knew that there was a very low chance of her even getting injured in this standoff, and the only chance that she could be killed was if Olivia accidentally shot her. So she sighed, then thought, _What the hell, it's worth a shot!_ before grabbing the blade of the knife and throwing it away from her with a shout of pain as the blade dug into the palm of her hand. "_God damn it!_" she gasped, pushing the moron away from her and hopping up and down, cradling her injured hand to her chest, which was also bleeding.

Olivia stared in surprise for a moment before hurrying forward to cuff the guy. An ambulance had already been called, as had the SWAT team, elevating this whole stupid situation from a pain in Casey's ass to a crisis. She blushed in embarrassment when the SWAT team stormed inside. One moron who didn't realize that the threat was already down hurried into her office, and his large, cumbersome gun hit her expensive new lamp, shattering it.

"Great!" she muttered under her breath as she dropped into a chair. "That is just great! For god's sakes, I just replaced the _last_ lamp that got smashed by an angry vic, and now I have to buy a new one! God, can this day get any worse?"

"Don't say that," Olivia chuckled, "because then it will." She walked over to stand behind Casey and placed a protective hand on her shoulder. The moron who knocked over her lamp apologized before hauling the other moron who had just taken her hostage out the door. Several other members of the SWAT team came in, thankfully without knocking anything over, and looked around the crime scene.

One of them walked over to Casey and Olivia and said, "Both of you are going to have to give your statement, but..." he glanced pointedly at Casey's bleeding hand, then continued, "Well, I think you should go get that worked on first. The EMTs outside can take you to the hospital."

Casey groaned loudly again, then allowed Olivia to pull her to her feet and start to lead her outside. "Um, Casey? I have one question for you," she said as she walked out with the ADA, keeping a hand on the small of her back to steady her. "Do you _ever_ know when to shut up?"

She chuckled painfully and rolled her eyes. "Come on, Liv. The guy didn't have a gun to my head, and that knife wasn't sharp enough to cut bread."

"Uhuh, Casey. That's how come he managed to cut you on the stomach; your skin is softer than bread." Groaning again, Casey shoved the detective playfully, keeping her injured hand close to her side.

"Fuck," she muttered under her breath, trying to keep the pain off her face. "Liv, you never told me being stabbed hurts this god damn much."

Olivia laughed at her. "Well, for one, you never asked. And, for another, I never anticipated you getting into a hostage situation and being so god damn stubborn to not shut your mouth." Casey glared at her but kept silent until they reached the ambulance outside. The EMT who saw her gestured for her to sit on the tailgate while Olivia stood next to her. He looked her over for a couple moments, then shook his head. "I'm sorry, ma'am, we need to take you to the hospital to get these stitched up."

Casey slumped down against the ambulance and groaned loudly again, hiding her face in her hands. "Oh, god. And there went all my wonderful plans for the night." She sighed again, then turned around and climbed into the ambulance, sitting on the side of the stretcher. Olivia got next to her and one of the EMTs climbed in the back while the other one headed up to the driver's seat.

"What plans did you have?" Olivia asked curiously, partly in an attempt to distract Casey from what was going to be a miserable rest of the night.

"What plans did I have? I had the most _perfect, amazing_ night all in place, but now it's all shot to hell. My date's flight leaves for San Francisco in," she checked her watch, "ten minutes ago, by the time we escape the hospital, the guys will all have coming, and my day of relaxation tomorrow just turned into a day full of me trying to do things one handed and shouting '_Ow!_' at the walls like some raving lunatic who-"

"All right, all right, enough! Jesus, Casey, you're making me depressed."

The ADA sighed, rubbing her eyes sleepily and leaning back on her hand. In an effort to keep her mind off the pain in her stomach and hand, she asked, "Hey, do you think you could help me out with a little problem?"

Olivia frowned uncertainly before shrugging as she said, "Depends on what it is. I don't want to end up kissing your boss or something here."

Casey shuddered at the thought and shook her head violently. "God no! Hell, Olivia. Don't think I would be so cruel. No, I need your help with Elliot. We were talking a couple weeks ago, and he said that if he got a call saying me or you had been injured, that he would be worried but that was a macho man, and macho men don't cry."

"So?" Olivia asked after a moment. "I don't see where you're going with this."

Casey smirked and nodded wisely. "Well, when I get to the ER, you need to call him. Tell him I was hurt really badly in a stand off at the DA's office, and then start crying, too, that'd be a nice touch, and say you've got my blood all over you, oh god, oh god, I'm scared, El- trust me, he'll be in tears by then."

Rolling her eyes at the ADA, Olivia put an arm around her shoulders and said, "Okay, two problems with your plan, Case. First, how are we going to know he's crying if we're not there, and second, I don't have your blood all over me."

"Oh, yeah. That's too bad, then," Casey said while deliberately leaning into Olivia, the blood from the wound in her stomach staining Olivia's clothes now, then lightly patted her head with her injured hand. She gritted her teeth from the pain but forced herself to focus on the detective, who now had blood all over her hair and leather jacket.

Olivia swore and pulled back, glaring at Casey. "God damn it! You just ruined my jacket and it's going to take _forever_ to get your blood out of my hair!"

"But, on the upside, when you start crying like a little girl on the phone that you've got blood all over you and everything, it won't be a lie." Rolling her eyes, Olivia pushed Casey again but had to admit, it was a pretty good plan to make Elliot cry.

She chewed on her lower lip hesitantly, then finally gave in. "Oh, all right, Casey. But only because you were just held hostage- you're emotional right now, so if I refuse, there's no telling what you might do."

"Uhuh, right," Casey scoffed, unconvinced. The ambulance pulled into the hospital, then, and, though it completely destroyed what pride and dignity she had left, the EMTs forced her to lie down on the stretcher as they brought her into the ER.

Shaking her head and laughing as she heard Casey's vehement protests, Olivia pulled out her cell phone and decided to call Munch and Fin first. They were probably all still together at the bar and she didn't see any reason to terrify them _all_.

Munch and Fin both promised to take pictures when Elliot cried as proof, then let her go so she could call Elliot.

* * *

><p>Elliot nodded as Munch and Fin returned to the bar from the car, where Munch had left his wallet, and Fin had refused to give the keys to Munch. His cell phone started ringing, and when he glanced at the number, he knew it would be a bad idea to ignore the call- it was Olivia, and she would probably murder him. "Hello?"<p>

"Oh, my god, Elliot!" she gasped, her voice at least an octave higher than normal, and it was clear that she was crying. "Elliot! Oh, god, this is horrible!"

"Olivia?" he asked with a frown. "Liv, what's the matter?"

"It's Casey!" she gasped, clearly terrified. "She- she was b- being held hostage, a-and the g-guy, and there was s-so much blood, and Casey, she was- oh, god, El!"

Feeling his heart rate pick up, Elliot grasped the phone tighter and demanded urgently, "Liv, is Casey okay? Are you both okay?"

She stammered tearfully, "I- I don't know- El, you've got to get down to Mercy, because Casey- and I don't- and-"

"It's okay, Liv, I'm on my way," he said quickly, getting to his feet and throwing down some money on the bar to cover the tab and hurrying out to his car, gesturing for Munch and Fin to follow. "That was Olivia- Casey was just held hostage and they're in the ER. I don't know exactly what happened but we have to hurry, she sounded terrified." He didn't notice Munch and Fin share a humorous glance before they followed him outside, he was too worried about Casey and Olivia.

* * *

><p>Elliot hurried into the waiting room, Munch and Fin on his tail, freezing when he saw Olivia pacing back and forth. She was crying and had blood all over her hair and jacket. The moment she saw him, Olivia ran at him and threw herself into his surprised arms, sobbing on his shoulder. "Oh my god, Elliot!" she cried, gripping him tighter.<p>

"It's okay, Liv," he said, looking around urgently for Casey, but she was nowhere to be seen. "Olivia, where's Casey? Is she okay?"

"Oh, god, El," Olivia gasped, sinking into a chair and pulling the detective with her. "I- I don't know, there was blood all over her, and- and the bastard hurt her so much she couldn't even hold my hand, oh, god-"

Olivia's dramatic speech was interrupted by a camera flash and Elliot swearing. "What the hell?" he gasped, stepping back and blinking rapidly, trying to get the dark colors to stop dancing in front of his eyes so he could see again.

"Got it!" Fin exclaimed, handing the camera to Olivia, who stopped crying immediately and cheered as well.

"Yes! Oh, thank you Fin! And Elliot, we now have proof that you're not as tough as you claim!"

Elliot looked around at the others in confusion, with absolutely no idea what was going on. Casey poked her head out from around the corner, then started laughing and walked over to them, shaking her head. "Did we get it, Liv?" she asked excitably.

"Huh? But... but I thought..." Elliot stammered, looking the ADA up and down in confusion. All that seemed wrong with her was her bloodstained slacks and bandage wrapped tightly around her hand. "What the... but Olivia said..."

Casey laughed at him and shook her head. "Oh, Elliot. So prone to overreaction. Look, this is all that really happened," she said, lifting up the hem of her shirt so he could see the patch of gauze taped to her stomach. "Doctors gave me a sweatshirt since my other one is doomed, then fixed up my hand and my stomach, and now I'm back, out here, laughing at you for crying."

Elliot still had no idea what was going on. "But- I thought that Olivia said-"

"Hey, I didn't lie, Elliot! I never said that Casey had been shot, or that she was dying or anything- I just said there was a whole lot of blood, which is perfectly true."

"Yeah," Casey grumbled, crossing her arms and looking away. "That would be mostly my fault. I'm the one who thought it was a good idea to grab the god damned knife by the blade. Honestly, Olivia, why didn't you stop me?"

"Well it was hard for me to stop you, what with you goading the guy on and telling me to put my gun away! God, Case. It's a good thing he didn't have a gun or he would of shot you."

Casey rolled her eyes and was about to reply when Elliot interrupted. "Hey, everybody, just wait up a second! What the hell is going on here?"

Everybody was laughing too hard to answer him. Finally, Munch said, "Apparently, you told Casey that you were too tough or something to ever cry, so she and Olivia decided to make you and then take a picture so we would never forget."

"Wait... but... I still don't get what the hell is going on here? I thought Casey was actually hurt- you can't tell me that they're releasing her this soon for being shot, and-"

"Oh, Elliot, no one said anything about me being shot! Olivia just told you that I was held hostage, and you assumed that it involved a gun. Well, you were wrong, Elliot. He was using a knife about as sharp as a pencil. And I decided to take advantage of the situation- because _you_ told me you were all tough and everything last week, so-"

"Yeah, well, Olivia was crying, and I don't see you going after _her_!" Elliot exclaimed in an attempt to move the focus of the conversation onto his partner.

She just laughed at him. "Well, Elliot, that's because I'm female. I can fake tears. See?" Olivia took a deep breath, then threw herself at him and sobbed, "Oh, El, I'm so scared! Hold me, Elliot, hold me!"

"Yeah!" Casey joined in, throwing her arms around his neck from behind. "Yeah, Elliot, we're so scared, you need to make us feel better! We need you to be tough and take care of us, El, we're so scared!" Sure enough, both of the women were actually crying, though they were smiling and laughing at him too.

Groaning in exasperation, Elliot pulled away from the two women and slumped back against the wall, shaking his head. "God, I can't believe you two. And Munch, Fin! How come you guys helped them?"

"Well, they can do more for us than you can, Elliot," Fin said simply.

"Yeah, they're women. And we both like their coffee more than yours, Elliot. Plus, if they can't think of anything else to give us, they can just wear a low-cut top or something to work. And if you did that, it would just look..."

"Wrong," supplied Fin, nodding in agreement. "So, we side with the women. And, more importantly, abandon you." Groaning again, Elliot just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Aw, don't be sad, Elliot," Olivia said, playfully smacking him on the shoulder. "Don't wanna start crying now, do you?"

As everybody snickered, he snapped, "Okay, when are you people going to forget about this?"

"I'll give you a hint, El," Casey told him, smiling slightly. "Okay, one word- Never." All the other detectives laughed at him as he shook his head.

"Casey, Olivia, I swear, someday I'll get you for this."

The ADA and detective scoffed at him. "Right, El," Olivia told him, rolling her eye. "I'm real scared."

"Yep," Casey agreed. "Sweet and sensitive cop over here is terrifying me. I think I'm gonna have to sleep the light on tonight. Hold me."

Throwing his hands up in the air in surrender, Elliot exclaimed, "All right, all right, I give up. You guys win. I'm going home."

On his way out, Casey hurried out in front of him and asked, "Aw, poor Elliot. Would a kiss make you feel better?"

Elliot hesitated, trying to determine if she was serious or not before saying, "Depends. Would _you_ be kissing _me_, and where would the kiss be?"

Olivia laughed at him while Casey just shook her head, unable to hold back a smile. "Yes, it's you and me, and on the lips. God, Elliot. Why are all men so obsessed with-" Casey was interrupted by Elliot grabbing her hand and pulling her closer, taking the opportunity to kiss her.

The ADA stiffened, clearly surprised, but allowed him to kiss her for a couple seconds before pulling back with a yelp of pain. "Hey!" she exclaimed, yanking her injured hand out of his and cradling it against her chest. "God damn it! Elliot, why did you have to grab _that_ hand?"

Olivia couldn't stifle her giggles anymore as Elliot tried to apologize while Casey continued to swear at him, holding her right hand in her left and jumping up and down furiously. "I'm sorry, Case, I didn't mean to," Elliot promised underneath Casey's rant at him. "God, how did you even get your hand cut, anyway?"

At that, Casey blushed and looked away, still gritting her teeth in pain, so Olivia decided to give her partner some ammunition. "She cut it by grabbing the guy's knife- by the blade. She had a thousand over ways to get out of the situation, including just waiting for me to shoot him, but she chose the one that would actually hurt. Silly Casey," she accused, laughing as the ADA groaned and glared at her.

"Come on, Liv, you were taking forever to shoot the guy! What did you expect me to do, just stand there waiting around for you to get a move on?"

"Well it was a better plan then what you ended up doing, Casey, god, who the hell-"

"All right, you two, break up the catfight," Elliot said, moving in between them to force them apart. "Come on, I'll drive you two home." Casey and Olivia both laughed at him before following him out of the hospital. "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking, but what are you laughing at now?"

"Aw, don't worry, Elliot, it's nothing mean. We just think it's funny that the man who throws tables at people could be such a perfect gentleman. He's sweet and sensitive-"

"Drives the women home-"

"And is one heck of a kisser," Casey finished, smiling at him.

Elliot frowned, looking between the two uncertainly. "So... is this a good thing, or a bad thing?"

Casey and Olivia glanced at each other before Casey said, "Well, it depends. I'll test you, to see how much of a perfect gentleman you are. Hmm... how about this one? Carry my purse."

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other in confusion before Elliot said slowly, "Um...Case, you don't have a purse."

"Oh, did I say purse? I meant for you to carry me." Casey smiled hopefully and held her arms out while Olivia just laughed and Elliot shook his head.

"Oh, hell no, Casey. I'm not carrying you. You've got two good legs."

Casey reached into her wallet and pulled out some money, waving it at him. "Would you carry me for a twenty?" Elliot just raised an eyebrow and kept on looking at her. "Fine, you drive a hard bargain. A fifty?"

Elliot took the money from her and held out his arms for her with a smile. "Well, hop on!" Casey smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck and carry her out of the hospital.

"You're both weird, you know that?" Olivia chuckled as she walked beside him.

"What?" Casey asked from her new spot in Elliot's arms. "My stomach hurts so I don't want to walk any long distances!"

Olivia smirked and shook her head at the ADA. "God, why are all my friends crazy?"

"Hey, come on, you know you love us. Besides, you're not so normal yourself," Elliot said while Casey nodded in agreement.

"Hey! I am too normal!" she exclaimed, prompting Elliot and Casey to laugh again.

"Oh, right, every girl I know drinks more coffee than water, lives off vending machine snacks, and goes home at midnight. Plus there's your ever changing hairstyle- butch, long, or longer- and then the highlights question, blonde or-"

"Oh, you're one to talk, blondie," Olivia retorted, rolling her eyes at Casey. "Your hair color changes daily." Casey and Olivia both glared at each other, while Elliot just laughs.

"Being normal is overrated anyway. Two cops plus a lawyer equals three very weird people. And I would give a toast to being weird, but I don't have a drink. All I have is Casey."

Olivia chuckled, shaking her head as they stopped walking beside Elliot's car. "Come on, perfect gentleman. Take us home."

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